Constantly carrying your balls in your hands...

You must think you're really special huh? Your dick or pussy must be absolutely germ free right? Who the fuck do you think you are? Does it give you the right to go to the bathroom and not wash your hands? That's disgusting.

Avoid dick hands or puss paws. It takes 30 secs.

So yesterday I was in the bathroom at work and I was taking a dump. Some guy walks in and begins taking a leak. I see his shadow on the wall, he is definitely a shaker. So, once he's done he zips up his pants. All good until now. As you can imagine, i'm relying heavily on my sense of hearing since i'm basically blind. The only thing I can see is the pale grey bathroom stall door in front of me. So, i'm waiting for the noise of water through the fawcet. However, that sound never came. What did I hear next? The sound of the creeking door opening! What the fuck dude? This is a place of work so i'm sure he was going to shake some hands later in the day. Now, all the people he shares the shake with will have dick hands because of him (Ahh the wonders of fist bumping but that's a topic already covered). Hey, guy, it would've taken you 30 seconds to wash your sweaty ball juice off of your hands. Obviously, the doors in most bathrooms are pull-to-open doors from the INSIDE which I cannot understand for the life of me. Think of that for a while. The dick hand guy had to grab the handle to open it. Now, his sweaty ball juice is all over the handle. How many other people grab that door in the day? Probably a hundred or more. How many of that hundred didn't wash their hands themselves? Let's say 15%. That's one dicked up door handle! But in all seriousness, WHAT THE FUCK! Just wash your goddamn hands. I won't even begin to speak of the people who take a shit and don't wash their hands...

So next time you go to your favorite Chinese restaurant, think twice before grabbing a loose mint in the bowl...